When I turned 28 I cried for an hour in Sonja's arms. It was quite liberating, actually. I remember thinking that I hoped the misery would lead me to an acceptance of my own mortality. Drinking coolers helped, too.

The problem, I think, was that I had left the station and didn't really want to work in community radio anymore. It was an odd feeling to be very dedicated to something for several years, and then find that the dedication and energy was completely gone. At the NCRA conference I spoke with some of the other station managers about what they were going to do when they left their station. There is something about community radio which makes things that you do afterward seem disappointing. It's an odd thing.

I worked in community radio for so long, and wanted to manage a station for so long, that when I'd done it I couldn't imagine new challenges. I felt a little lost sometimes; I would look around and find myself discouraged.