Yesterday afternoon on the same damp bus I was standing behind two younger women:

: Janice's former boyfriend whenever he got mad he'd sing Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl." It was his protest song, with the fist and everything.
: "Uptown Girl"?
: At his high school, the mascot was a huge, chocolate-covered peanut.
: Reminds me of Mr. Hankey...
: He had this mascot costume that he had to wear at the games and one day he lost it but they made him do the dance anyway...
: A mascot?

I'm not making this up.