"We were about to see the legendary Rolling Stones, the greatest rock band of all time. The lights went out. We heard the distinct hiss of smoke pots, and then a pop. Fire spurted on either side of the stage. The lights blew on in full glare, and there he was. Mick Jagger! In spangled pants! Singing! Look, there was Keith Richards, playing guitar! And the other guys! For two minutes, I found myself thoroughly entertained. For 10 minutes, I was at least amused. But my heart gradually chilled as I realized what I had really paid for -- a two-hour set of golden oldies, accompanied by flaccid pyrotechnics. The Stones trudged mechanically through the horrible songs from their horrible ''Steel Wheels'' album. They played their greatest hits, just like on the radio, only with worse backup singers. I stopped cheering. Then I stopped applauding. I didn't say it that night, but I knew the hard truth. The Stones were boring." Rock On? Yeah, in Chairs: Neal Pollack for the New York Times.