I once had a friend who worked at the station with me. He is a very large fellow, and although I knew he was a gentle soul he also had a bit of a temper. Not that that is part of the story. Anyway, he once told me a simple story that I still remember.
Hal (my friend) used to live in downtown Toronto, near Chinatown. He even knew some Chinese. One day he was buying some fruit or something and the fruit-guy selling it just turned to him and said:
"Whole world... " and he paused, and said, " ...going to hell."
Now, this was probably 1990 or so, and since then, as we all know, the whole thing has just gotten worse.
10K FOR A WIFE >> this guy is desperate
$14 ERGO KEYBOARD
>> do it yourself
99 WAYS TO OPEN A BEER BOTTLE >>
...without an opener
ABN TO HAAGS >> dutch dialect
translator
ADBUSTERS >> reinventing the outdated
paradigms of our consumer culture
ADDING AND SUBSTRACTING
>> give me a hand
AD GRAVEYARD >> real ads that
almost ran
ADVENTURES
OF ACE AND FLAK >> the first quake2 comic
ADVENTURES
OF DANK AND SCUD >> the first quake comic
ADVENTURES
OF MULDER AND SCULLY >> that figures
AIR SICKNESS BAG MUSEUM >> don't
worry, they're clean
AIRTOONS >> don't look down
ALIBI AGENCY >> don't come home without
it
ALIEN ABDUCTIONS INC. >> contact
them if they don't contact you
ALMOST >> ...tales of near-sex experiences
ALT.BINARIES.PICTURES.PC
>> computers are sexy
AND ADAM KNEW EVE >> a dictionary
of sex in the bible
ANNOY.COM >> (uh noi’)
ANSWERING MACHINE >> beep
ANTIGAME >> all work, no play
ANUS.COM >> blood 'n guts
ASTEROID INSURANCE >> don't
get hit
AUTOMATIC
COMPLAINT LETTER GENERATOR
BABETTE >> deep thoughts (dutch)
BAD ART >> art that sucks
BAD AS SHIT PROJECT >> funk that rules
BAG BED >> help the homeless
BARBIE BONDAGE >> she's
coming out
BASTARD OPERATOR FROM HELL
>> "you have 4 meg available"
BERT IS EVIL >> let's pray
for ernie
BIBLE
ACTION FIGURES >> order mary
BIBLEMAN >> spreading the word
BILLY-BOB TEETH >> quality redneck
teeth molds
BIZARRE STUFF >> ...you can
make in your kitchen
BLOWTHEDOTOUTOFYOURASS
>> tired of dotcom doctrine?
BOMB >> how to crash your browser
BONDAGE FILES >> really
strange news
BOOGIECARDS >> irrelevant postcards
BRAND DATING >> you love what you
buy
BREASTS CLUB >> scan your chest
BUBBLE BODYWEAR >> play with
your dress
BUMPER DUMPER >> if nature calls
CAT SCAN >> here kitty kitty kitty
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK SINGALONG SITE
>> a transformed man
CELEBRITY DEAD POOL >> the game of all
games
CELESTIS >> where no corpse has gone
before
CELLPHONE CADDY >> not designed
to carry any type of firearm
"censorware"
and the workplace
CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE
MUSEUM >> spy gadgets
CHEWBAKLAVA >> wookie
style
CHINDOGU >> unuseless
inventions
CHRISTIAN BDSM >> all scripture
is taken from the king james bible
CHRISTIANS
FOR THE CLONING OF JESUS >> the second coming
CLIP CRAP >> wacky movie archive
CLONES-R-US >> beyond sheep
CLOWNS ARE SCARY >>
stop smiling
COMPUTER VIRUS MYTHS >> good times
COOKING WITH
7-UP >> not just pouring sugar-water into a bowl
COOL 404 >> pretty errors
CORPORATION ICON GALLERY
>> spice up your awards gallery
CORPSES FOR SALE >> gift wrap?
CULTURE JAMMERS' ENCYCLOPEDIA >>
start jammin'
DARWIN AWARDS >> contributions
to the improvement of our gene pool
DEAD PEOPLE SERVER >> 2,031 entries served
DEAD PORN STARS >> thanks
to a disease with a little name
DEATH CLOCK >> hit snooze
DEMOTIVATORS >> keep up the spirit
DICK FOR A DAY >> serious penis
envy
DICK $NOR >> site design
that hurts your eyes
DIRT MUSEUM >> they
got dirt
DIRTY HARRY TOUR OF SAN FRANCISCO
>> if you're feeling lucky
DOCTOR FUN >> the first
online-only comic
DOG DOO >> get even
DOODIE >> poop
DUCT TAPE GUYS >> they got tape
DULL MEN'S CLUB >> sigh
DUMBENTIA >> the parody place
ELECTRIC CHAIR >> shocking
EDIBLE INSECTS >> gulp
EGOSURF >> where am i
END OF THE INTERNET >> go back
EVAN MATHER >> indie star wars cinema
EWRITER FRISBEE >>
spell and throw new
EXPLODING WHALE >> a true story
FAKE DETECTIVE >>
protecting the innocent
FAKE TONGUES >> say
ah...
FANTASY DOCTOR
>> toys for learning
FAMOUS MUGSHOTS >> smile
FARTS >> smell this
FATAL FACTS
>> dozens of ways to accidentally die
FIND A GRAVE >> graves of famous
people from around the world
FLASH MOUNTAIN >> is that a nipple?
FLATULENCE FILTER >> i don't
smell nothing
FUCK U FUCK ME >> horny hardware
FURBY AUTOPSY >> here's how to make
it silent
GALLERY OF THE GROTESQUE >> gross
GIRLFRIEND STEALER'S SHOP
>> I don't want a single girl
GUNS-N-BABES >> they're loaded
HAMPSTER DANCE >> animated
web kitsch
HAND GLIDING
>> anyone with at least one hand can participate
HATCHOO >> dutch spoofs
HEARTLESS BASTARDS >> it's
a guy thing
HI-FIVE ARM >> we all do it
HITMAN ONLINE >>
technical manual for independent contractors
HOLLERIN' HISTORY
>> the earliest form of communication between humans
HOVING >> play it again man
HOW STUFF WORKS >> if you really
gotta know
HOW TO BUILD
A STORMTROOPER COSTUME >> may the force be up yours
HOW TO DRIVE LIKE A MORON
>> move over
HOW TO KEEP AN IDIOT
BUSY >> ...for at least a couple of minutes
HOW TO TOILET-TRAIN
YOUR CAT >> lid up, seat down
ICEPICK >> webcams all over his place
IBRATOR >> feels different
I KISS YOU! >> the first
web cult star Mahir Cagri
ILLUSTRATED GUIDE
TO BREAKING YOUR COMPUTER >> good clean fun
IN A JAR >> shit!
INTERNET BRUININGS SYSTEEM
>> get a tan while you can
INTERNET LICENSE
PLATES >> super highway
IT IS POLITE TO STARE >> can
i help you?
ITOKE >> need weed? new
JAIL BABES >> want a pen pal?
JESUS' HOMEPAGE >>
welcome
JESUS OF
THE WEEK >> god is not dead
JOE CARTOON >> wuss
JOHNNY POPPER >> stop the spread
of germs
JOKE WALLPAPER >> looking for
a fun desktop?
KISSY KISSY >> pull back
the bed covers
KONZENTRATIONSLAGER
>> polish lego
KREMLIN KAM >> the cold war is definitely
over
LAPTOP LAIDBACK >> sit back
and relax
LAWN MOWER RACING >> let's mow
LEGO MACHINE
GUN >> brick 'em up!
LICENSE PLATES
OF THE WORLD >> 358 pages full of plates (sic)
LOVE CALCULATOR >> a dutch classic
LOWEST-RATED
JERRY SPRINGER SHOW EVER >> jer-ry!
MACHINIMA >> lo tech cinema
MICROSOFT MONOPOLY >> go to jail
MINIPOPS >> miniature
art
MOJAVE PHONE BOOTH
>> hello?
MOST FUCKED-UP PERSON ALIVE
>> an autobiography of being pissed off
MOON SHOP >> planet for sale
MOVIE-A-MINUTE >> save
time
MOVIE CLICHES LIST >> common logic
flaws and stereotypes
MUFFLER MEN
>> hit the road
MULLETS GALORE >> fear the mullet
MURPHY'S LAWS ON SEX >> "this
won't hurt, i promise"
MUSEUM OF SOVIET CALCULATORS
>> 130 machines and counting
MUSEUM OF TALKING BOARDS
>> s-p-o-o-k-y
MY BOSS SUCKS >> boss alert button
included
NAME
THAT CANDYBAR >> know your munchies
NAVEL FLUFF >> belly dirt
NETBABY >> fuck pokemon
NETSLAVES >> survival techniques
for web workers
NIKS >> not much (dutch)
NORI >> the original
nasal passage cleaner
NOTJENNI >> cam spoof
NUDE MAN
CARROT >> one lewd vegetable
NUDE SUIT >> look naked
THE ONION >> misinforming the world
PANIC ENCYCLOPEDIA >> guide
to the postmodern scene
PAWSENSE >> catproof
your computer
PEANUT BUTTER LOVERS >> unite
PENIS PILLOW >> size does matter
new
PETE >> ...the cat that
looks like hitler
PHOBIA LIST >> be afraid
PICK A CARD >> it's
magic
PLANET KETCHUP >> found in
97% of all kitchens
PLASTER OF PARADISE >> break
a leg
POLICE SCANNER >> 10-4
POOSTICK
>> defend yourself new
PRESS
ANY KEY >> here it is
PRETTY GOOD PORNOGRAPHY
>> and other perverse software
PROZAC PEZ >>
make the world a happy place
PULP PHANTOM >> royale with cheese
PURVE >> women only
RANSOMATIC >> come alone
REALAROMA >> smell u smell me
REAL DOLL >> the world's finest love
doll
RECTAL FOREIGN BODIES
>> stick it up your ...
RECYCLE DOG >> more poop
RENT-A-FRIEND >> order your
party cd
RENT-A-JERK >> to berate your co-workers
RETRO RAUNCH >> the thinking man's
adult site
ROBOCUP >> here aibo
ROTTEN DOT COM >> archive of disturbing
illustration
SEND ME A DOLLAR >> the
first online beggar
SHITTY PENS >> what's that smell?
new
SHOWER PROJECT >> 100 girls
get wet
SIGN LANGUAGE >>
"caution museums ahead"
SILICON VALLEY TAROT >>
cheaper than a consultant
SIMULATOR >> the horror
of everyday life
SKYCAR >> it's finished!
SODACONSTRUCTOR
>> wicked insect thingies
SOLEMATES >> two different size feet
SOLOTREK >> out of my way, fly boy
SPANKIE >> ...the solo sex sleeve
SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS >> where
south park begun
SPRINGWALKER >> it's got legs
SPUD CANNONS
>> potato guns
SQUIRREL
FISHING >> a new approach to rodent performance evaluation
STADIUM PAL >> not just for sports events
STAR DUDES >> the
force is strong with this dude
STARE DOWN SALLY >>
STICKY FIGURE DEATH THEATER >> twice the
entertainment, half the talent
STUPID PENIS TRICKS
>> she loves her boyfriend's penis
SUPER MARKETING >> ads
from the comics
SUPERPAM >> pamela's breast size vs.
the amount of silicone in the earth
SURVIVAL RESEARCH LABORATORIES
TACKY POSTCARD ARCHIVE >> preserving
the bas taste
TRAILERVISION >> fictional movie
trailers
TROJAN ROOM COFFEE MACHINE
>> the first webcam
TROOPS >> cops meets star wars
TV BUDDY >> all you
need
UNAMERICAN >> "i represent god
you fuck"
UNLOADING WINDOWS >>
ctrl-alt-del
UNUSUAL AVIATION PICTURES >> fasten
seatbelts
URBAN LEGENDS ARCHIVE >> they're
all here
USELESS PAGES >> what a waste
US NAVY BASE SHAPED AS
SWASTIKA >> see for yourself
WAZZZUP!
>> superheroes budweiser spoof
WEB ECONOMY BULLSHIT GENERATOR
>> buzzword bingo
WEB VENGEANCE
>> waste those sites
WHAT THE HECK >> weird ebay
auctions
WHEN A BLOWJOB BECOMES
A JOB >> "i'm not talking techniques"
WOMEN WITH BEARDS >> nice moustache
WORLD SEXUAL RECORDS >> errr...
most nipples?
WORLD'S LONGEST
HOMEPAGE >> 563,62 kilometers
YOUR WEIGHT
ON OTHER WORLDS >> a great diet
YOU'RE
STUCK WITH HOMER
ZORB >> for those who think "the dukes of hazard" was the best show on tv
Alternative sites for paniced stuff:
CRUEL SITE >> rogers cadenhead
CAMWORLD >> cameron barrett
ALT0169 >> jeroen bosch (dutch)
URLGREY >>
WORST OF THE WEB
>> all good now